A Freak of Nature - Aria MacDonald

A Freak of Nature

I haven’t felt this way for a long time.  When we were first discharged and home after Aria was born and felt like such a freak.  I felt no one understood my pain and I was alone.  I couldn’t join in with conversations the other mums had and just wanted to talk about my hospital experience.

I feel a touch that way right now trying to get back into life and be normal again.  I feel like this huge massive event has happened and I can’t shake it off.  I am incapable of making small talk when just last week my daughter was close to something not worth thinking about.  The words Near Miss echo in my head daily.  Thankfully I have kind friends who ask and are interested and will share the hard parts of their lives with me so I don’t feel so alone!  Phew although I feel bad I like to hear their struggles, confused because I would love something different for them all and hopeful I might be able to offer words that point to God.

Aria isn’t on her feet yet and I am trying hard not to get upset about it.  I hope we are not back at square one again with her walking.  I think she has lost muscle tone and confidence because she cries and looked scared when I encourage her to walk.   We are so ready to go to transplant, bring it on!  Someday I pray this will all be a distant memory.

4 Responses to “A Freak of Nature”

  1. Rolf and Helen says:

    Anita – she may have lost some muscle tone, but in knowing the little I do of her, Aria will not have lost her amazing spirit – and that I think (along with the amazing support she has) is what really keeps her going! Face the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind. – I think that Aria continuously does just this, and it never ceases to leave me in total wonderment. She is such a giver to all those who know her I think. And so are you and Hamish. Our family are all sooooo with you all. xxx

  2. Brian and Sandra Ready says:

    We can only echo the thoughts of Rolf and Helen… beautifully written and so so true. xxx

  3. Samantha Sutherland says:

    Hang in there little chick! You’ve had a big knock to your senses and it will take time to settle back in but it will happen. You know I am always here to chat to you about anything, just a phone call or a coffee/wine away. I love hearing someone elses dramas – really! Lots of hugs, this WILL be a distant memory one day, but for today don’t look ahead and don’t look behind, just be.

  4. Monique says:

    Thinking of you lots hun!

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“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”- Jeremiah 29:11