Survivor: Starship Island - Aria MacDonald

Survivor: Starship Island

20 Oct at 12:07 pm by Anita MacDonald

Ok so sometimes it feels like surviving Starship is this complex game in which you must bring your best strategy and wit in order to win.

For the first time ever in our adventures at Starship we find ourselves sharing a room.  Not cool at all.  The hospital is full to the brim and unfortunately not even our ‘but Aria has a central line’ card can be played.

So we had the idea of coming home for the night tonight.  It makes zero sense for Hamish to sleep on the yucky hospital floor when they both could be home in their own bed and we can all get a decent nights sleep.  There is a liver biopsy hopefully planned for tomorrow so we could go back early in time.  BUT – the risk is- if you aren’t physically in the bed they could give it away during the night.   Yup they pack up your stuff and that’s it.  So we would have no space to even rest tomorrow if that happens we could find ourselves wandering the corridors with the rest of the bugs.

I find myself less and less able to cope with hospital admissions.  Isn’t that strange?  You would think with Hamish not working and us having been doing this for over 3 years we would be sorted.   But these days we don’t seem to be discharged with Aria ‘fixed’ like what used to happen.  There are less and less answers and increasingly we are being told ‘she needs replacement parts’

I find myself wishing that Hamish and I weren’t such good friends and that we didn’t miss each other. Isn’t that strange?  Trying to keep a marriage working with a huge amount of stress baring down on you both and almost zero time together, well it is hard.  You can’t have a private conservation in hospital or a bit of a cry together because someone will always come in or walk past or something.

The point of this post is to be honest, maybe too honest? 

Last night I listened to this amazing and honest sermon about Christ’s suffering on the cross.  How Jesus suffered terribly because he was murdered in a truly horrible way.  But he was perfect.  And during his huge physical and mental sufferering he still loved, forgave, prayed and found someone to take care of his mum.

My suffering isn’t even .1% of his and Jesus suffered for me so that I might be might be able to share in his perfection through his death and resurrection.   So what is that I should do with my pain and struggle?  Well at the very least I should endeavour to make the best of it and not waste it.  God promises to make us more like Him thru suffering and I have witnessed this, but more and more I feel like I am paying a high price for it, a price I struggle to cope with.  I keep reminding myself, that this journey with Aria is a precious experience and I need to get all that God would have me learn from it, and by God’s strength I am hopeful that will happen.

Anyway thanks for your prayers and support.  We covet them deeply.