Dark days - Aria MacDonald

Dark days

The words of this post have changed so many times in my head.

Yesterday was a dreadful day.  Aria had yet another episode.  These episodes are scary and we know that they can mark the beginning of the end.  Once we stop being able to maintain her blood pressure and keep oxygen in her lungs and her little heart beating then the outcome of that is obvious.

You need to know we are struggling with this blog currently.  These are dark days.  Our previous dark days, when her first transplant failed and we waited for another round of funding, were not written about on this blog.  There was a sense of relief in that.  Honestly I don’t know what to say or how to say it.  I don’t want to be negative but I don’t want to give the impression that these are rosey times because misunderstanding hurts.

What happened yesterday is really horrible and I can’t bring myself to give details.  But I wish I could  because by understanding details you will know Aria is a fighter and a miracle occurred and the team is relieved.  But you will just have to take my word for it.

Aria can’t seem to get over the hump.  Like a speed bump she gets to the top and just can’t seem to make it over.  Her vent settings are really high (which before Tuesday were pretty low) and perhaps she is heading backwards.

Please keep praying for her, of course I know you will, thank you.  She needs to beat this infection.  Her bone marrow needs to recover.  We need to stop feeling like we are losing her, it is crushing, I don’t know how much more I can take.  God knows and is ministering to our souls.  He is not ready to take her, not today, we are pleading He doesn’t, not yet, not this way.

70 Responses to “Dark days”

  1. Valerie Kolb says:

    Still praying for Aria and your family!

  2. Liz says:

    always in my mind and heart.

  3. Sarah Duncan says:

    Anita, keep hanging in there. Thinking of you, Aria and your whole family everyday. Thank you for making the effort to keep the blog up to date, we all know it can’t be easy but constantly reminds us of your struggles and achievements and leaves me in awe of how strong your love and faith is. Our hearts go out to you, we are all there in spirit standing beside you and hoping for the best outcome. Kia kaha xx

  4. Carolyn O'Cain says:

    I hear the anguish in your heart and I am praying. Sending my love to you all.
    In His great and mighty love,
    Carolyn O’Cain

  5. Bracefield family says:

    Praying for you.
    In Christ

  6. Anjela says:

    Praying and thinking of Aria, and you all Anita. In His might and strength.

  7. joy ludeman says:

    thinking of you all,aria is a strong brave young lady,thank you you for sharing your life with us all

  8. Liz Smith NZ says:

    I think about Aria every day, and pray for her.

  9. Heidi says:

    Oh Anita, I can’t help but share your tears. We so believe in Jesus and His miracle power.Let it be Lord God.Amen!
    Love and His continuous strength to you all. xxxxxx

  10. Lisa says:

    big hugs to you all. Love and prayers for more miracles

  11. Raye says:

    Kia Kaha to you all from the McDonnell whanau here in NZ. You are all in our thoughts & prayers XX

  12. Alisa says:

    Praying for you

  13. Moya says:

    Keep strong. Big hugs coming your way – W H O O S H ! M x

  14. Tiffany Keller says:

    Aria is always in my prayers, and so are you! Aria is definitely a fighter! God is always there, and alway cares! Many hugs to you, and your family! May God be even closer to durng this difficult time! God Bless!

  15. Tiffany Keller says:


  16. Ruth says:

    My thoughts are with you Anita and Hamish. I have been to the place where you are at, and I know that the love and concern that is surrounding you will help you to get through these dark days. I send you both a big hug from Christchurch NZ. Kia kaha.

  17. Jan says:

    I am with you all the way the path I have walked to understand. Love to all.Jan

  18. susan says:

    I am praying for strength and reassurance from God for you and for healing for Aria. God bless Asher too! May God’s light shine more and more brighter in your dark days.

  19. Joyce says:

    Thoughts and prayers to you all.Our God is a mighty God and he knows the plan. His will not ours but we can still plead for Aria’s miracle as he has done so many times for her. May you feel his strength and comfort.

  20. Lisa Robertson says:

    I keep you all firmly in my heart and thoughts right now. xx

  21. joyce says:

    Praying with and for you. May our God sustain you through these tough times.Our God knows all things, the beginning and the end. He will be that to Aria too.He is mighty to save. Love you all Edie and Joyce.

  22. Jenelle says:

    I found your site through Matisse’s CB page. I will keep Aria in my prayers.

  23. Angela Robinson says:

    Oh dear my prayers and thoughts are heading right to Aria and I am sending you love strength and light in this dark time.

  24. Pip says:

    Aria and all of you are always in my prayers and thoughts. Always.

  25. Maree says:

    Kia Kaha, you are all in my thoughts.

  26. Lou says:

    Love you guys so much. Praying hard xox You all mean lots to me and I can’t imagine how you are feeling right now, but God knows and loves you immensely xx

  27. Angela says:

    Prayers for Aria to have strength to get thru this battle. Huge love and support for all of you at this difficult time – hang in there. God is watching over you and we are all praying for youxxx

  28. Cousins Kathleen & Anita says:

    Keep remembering the strong loving arms of our strong loving Father!

  29. R od & Margaret says:

    Dear Father God we pray for your mercy and miracle working power in this situation. Please stay particularly close to Aria, Anita, Hamish & Asher during this dark time. Thank you that you say your plans are to prosper us and not harm us, Thank you Lord for your faithfulness!! Much love from us both xxxx

  30. iliganoa says:

    Thank you Jesus for healing Aria amen.

  31. Jen Rath says:

    Thinking of you all non-stop since reading this post.

  32. Ruby says:

    The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you and give you peace. Love and prayers for God to uphold,comfort and strengthen you and your extended family.

  33. Doc and Sharon says:

    The words of an old hymn come to mind. “Til the storm passes by”

    Praying God is holding you fast in the hollow of His hands.

  34. Bland family says:

    It’s so okay to be beyond words…the weight and pain you are going through is way beyond words. But THANK YOU Anita for even just one line to let us know how Aria is and what to pray for. We have so much love and hope for her – please, please God, please may Aria get over this hump and begin to recover. In the name of her saviour Jesus, Amen.

  35. Richelle says:

    I look at Aria’s sweet smile and pray for you all. At times like these words can’t begin to express enough of what is in our hearts and minds. The unspoken is a powerful communicator. Be still. My heart aches and prays.

  36. Leeann Morton says:

    Awful awful times for you. Words can’t do it justice. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Much love xx.

  37. Karin says:

    I don’t know what you are going through but it sounds horrible. My heart breaks for you! No parent should have to watch their kid suffer so much! I am praying, desperately praying for your family!

  38. Kylee Black says:

    Praying for you guys!! We will never know the extent of how incredibly hard it must be to be in a different country, to see your precious girl struggle so much… But we pray. And I know there are prayers being sent from all corners of the world, I pray that you feel them as you walk this tough journey, that they uphold you on the darkest days. My heart aches for you guys, and I only wish we could all do so much more to help, but please know we are here, and love is being sent,each and every day. You guys are all in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for continuing to share Arias courageous journey with us, she is touching and impacting many lives.. Mine included. xox

  39. Lois says:

    My heart is torn for Aria, A prayer for you all. Our Father and Our God. We cry out to you for Aria today, for all her needs. You Love her, you love Anita Hamish and Asher. This little family hold them close through these dark days with your strength and power.
    Thank you for you have promised to be with those who love you and serve you.
    Take care of our friends father.

  40. Judy Palmer says:

    Praying, praying, praying for healing for little Aria and strength for Anita, Hamish and Asher. Blessings, Judy.

  41. Fiona McNair says:

    I have never seen so many people write in, obviously there are many people out there praying for you and your family. Although I’ve never met your family I feel I am there too, on your painful journey, hang in there and ride the waves as they come along. Remember you have had many challenging times in the past and through the grace of God have managed to get through them. We are all behind you, go well and take good care of yourselves.

  42. pippa says:

    My heart is breaking for you too. Even when things are beyond words, do know that this has no impact on the strength of love we are all sending to your family. We are always thinking of your little fighter. Gentle hugs.

  43. Jacinta says:

    Thinking of Aria often – lots of prayers going out to her & you all x

  44. Shirley Davy says:

    With love and prayers for Aria and you all. X

  45. lisa says:

    Oh Anita, there are times in life when no words can express our pain or how difficult something is. You seem to be in that place right now and that is perfectly ok. Thank you for sharing as much as you have. Aria and your family have come to mean so much to so many people. Writing this blog must be hard at times. We are all so grateful that you do. I am praying as hard as possible for Aria, for you, for Hamish and for Asher. You are loved by so many. Stay strong xoxoxoxoxoxox

  46. Jessica Gibson says:


  47. lorraine says:

    Thinking of you all on this sad and difficult journey. Don’t worry about writing on the blog just do what you need to do for yourseves and for aria and asher. Hearts from all over the world go out to you in this challenging situation as parents. Holding you all in my heart, lorraine

  48. Steph van G says:

    Sending lots of love and prayers for Aria your way. xxxxxxx

  49. Jill Marshall says:

    We are praying, too, and asking God to give you his peace that passes all understanding. He knows, He loves you and He cares.

  50. Monique says:


  51. jeannie overall says:

    may our mighty Lord continue to give you His blessed assurance-may it help a wee bit to know that there are so many brothers and sisters holding you all up before His throne-love, Jeannie

  52. Mirren says:

    We are praying for you all, God knows your hearts and He cares.

  53. Samantha Seccombe says:

    We are praying for you all.
    Praying that you would know God himself walking with you in your dark days. Ps 23 v4, Ps 139 v 11 and that you would know his comfort. With our love Sam and Martin.

  54. H Wilkie says:

    Aria you are such a fighter, and so is your family. May you find the peace of God McDonald Whanau in these dark times may he embrace you and carry you. Love you Aria.

  55. Emma & Gremlins says:

    I don’t know what to say, we are all praying hard as always for Aria, and for you, Hamish and Asher xx

  56. Jo says:

    I feel like your little girl is climbing Mt Everest. Kiwis do that you know! Tackle the unimaginable and succeed. Aria has been in this place before and made it to the summit.

    You guys may be on the other side of the world, but you are VERY close to our hearts. We are praying for you, and feeling with you the desire that the Lord do the impossible and turn things around for Aria. I pray for your energy levels too.

    This is the hardest battle I have ever heard a loving Mum, Dad and brother go through. What a really tough time for you guys.

    Biggest hug guys

  57. Brian and Sandra says:

    We are with you in spirit xoxo

  58. chrissy Hallberg says:


  59. Linda Crosbie says:

    Oh please let all the prayers take Aria over that summit to better health and full recovery. Heart goes out to you all. Kia kaha. Xxxx

  60. Josie says:

    In Jesus name we pray health, peace and comfort…our thoughts and prayers are with you all xxx

  61. Julie Cooper says:

    Praying for you all in these dark days. Our sermon this morning was the passage where Jesus told the woman “Don’t cry”. I couldn’t stop thinking of you. He does love and care for you in these dark days xx

  62. Priscilla says:

    Praying hard for Aria and you all xxx

  63. Samantha Sutherland says:

    My heart is so heavy for you all. As desperate as we all are to hear from you, if you need to take a break from this blog then you need to do so, you are more important than all of us and we understand.

    Sending all my love and prayers to you and especially precious girl xxx

  64. Michelle Lemon says:

    Dear Lord,
    I pray that you will hold Aria, Anita, Hamish and Asher close, that you guide and direct the doctors and nurses! That they will all feel the love and prayers that are being poured out on their behalf! May your peace surround them and give them strength. I pray that everyone reading this blog will have the understanding that is meant by it’s words and in turn will be there to support Aria and her family as they need. In Jesus name I pray! Amen!

  65. Jayce says:

    Always thinking of you, Aria.

  66. Jane says:

    I pray that the Peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Phill 4 v 7 Please dear ones dont stress about the …we dont have any expectations of you :) We continue to uphold you before the Father. He is Ever Present in your time of despair.

  67. Jane says:

    I missed the word blog out sorry.

  68. Nigel Burrell says:

    Praying hard for precious Aria and you all from the U.K. – stay strong. Healing wishes and virtual hugs sent to your special little girl.

    love, Nigel XXX

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“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”- Jeremiah 29:11