A Freak of Nature
I haven’t felt this way for a long time. When we were first discharged and home after Aria was born and felt like such a freak. I felt no one understood my pain and I was alone. I couldn’t join in with conversations the other mums had and just wanted to talk about my hospital experience.
I feel a touch that way right now trying to get back into life and be normal again. I feel like this huge massive event has happened and I can’t shake it off. I am incapable of making small talk when just last week my daughter was close to something not worth thinking about. The words Near Miss echo in my head daily. Thankfully I have kind friends who ask and are interested and will share the hard parts of their lives with me so I don’t feel so alone! Phew although I feel bad I like to hear their struggles, confused because I would love something different for them all and hopeful I might be able to offer words that point to God.
Aria isn’t on her feet yet and I am trying hard not to get upset about it. I hope we are not back at square one again with her walking. I think she has lost muscle tone and confidence because she cries and looked scared when I encourage her to walk.  We are so ready to go to transplant, bring it on! Someday I pray this will all be a distant memory.
4 Responses to “A Freak of Nature”
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# 3 Apr at 6:27 pm
Anita – she may have lost some muscle tone, but in knowing the little I do of her, Aria will not have lost her amazing spirit – and that I think (along with the amazing support she has) is what really keeps her going! Face the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind. – I think that Aria continuously does just this, and it never ceases to leave me in total wonderment. She is such a giver to all those who know her I think. And so are you and Hamish. Our family are all sooooo with you all. xxx
# 3 Apr at 6:33 pm
We can only echo the thoughts of Rolf and Helen… beautifully written and so so true. xxx
# 4 Apr at 12:04 pm
Hang in there little chick! You’ve had a big knock to your senses and it will take time to settle back in but it will happen. You know I am always here to chat to you about anything, just a phone call or a coffee/wine away. I love hearing someone elses dramas – really! Lots of hugs, this WILL be a distant memory one day, but for today don’t look ahead and don’t look behind, just be.
# 4 Apr at 8:25 pm
Thinking of you lots hun!