Foreigners in a strange land
Warning : this post won’t contribute to your festive spirit.
We couldn’t have arrived at the worst possible time of year.
Hamish and I were talking last night about our christmas plans or lack thereof.  The reality is that we will be here for Christmas.  We will be spending it in hospital.  Worst still in a foreign hospital with our pretty sick little girl with no family.  I know- sob story right?  We joked tonight that we actually better check the hospital cafe is open cause we may be feasting on hot dogs and reeses pieces from the convenience store!
Tonight it came crashing home to me that we are foreigners in a strange land. Â I won’t go into it much cause I don’t know who reads this and I would hate to offend or come off ungrateful but needless to say life is difficult this time of year.
Both of Hamish and I are finding being stuck in hospital without being able to get out and being dependent on others really difficult.  We could get a car but given that it is snowing and driving on the opposite side of the road and parking fees it doesn’t make sense right now and would be unwise.  But it is hard having independence taking away from you and not being able to control your environment.  And being parents 24/7 too, I know it sounds awful but one of us always has a child so we are not getting anytime together or anytime alone.
But I just need to keep reminding myself that at least our family is together and not separated like lots of transplant families.  In some ways this life is easier than living in Auckland because there is no longer a 20min+ drive keeping our family apart.
This was always doing to be difficult, have I said that before? Â But I will be super glad when christmas is over and the reminder that christmas is going to be an epic fail is gone. Â Always glad that our kids are young enough not to have any idea they are missing out. Â It is only Hamish and I that know we are away from family and home, thats good, great infact.
Back to Aria. Â She actually had a good day. Â Still struggling with pain but as long as the morphine comes in time she is doing ok. Â Her lips are really dry and cracked so they bleed easily and she looks terrible. But apart from that she managed more walking today, a couple of metres even out of her room and across the hallway! Â The PT is excellent for getting her up and moving, something everyone else has struggled with including us.
17 Responses to “Foreigners in a strange land”
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# 16 Dec at 2:48 pm
Anita and Hamish…I know you don’t know us but I pray that we can uplift in a little way…we feel your heart pain of not being by family and friends during this Christmas time BUT you are with the precious family that God has given you and we seek that He will provide for your emotional needs during this time. It’s great that there are some there helping along the way, it’s okay to feel sorry for yourself but don’t stay there…God wants you in this place for His purposes…keep looking up….and thank you once again for sharing the heart walk that you are taking…our thoughts and prayers are with you…sometimes wish we could email privately but God knows and we leave it with Him.
Enjoy today
With love and HUGS 🙂
McLays
# 16 Dec at 2:55 pm
I just know something happy will happen for you this Christmas – you’ll be surprised Christmas brings out the best in people. Christmas to me is all about being with the ones you love and I know you have left a lot of those loved ones at home in NZ but you have your family unit all together. Hamish and I have spent a couple of lonely Christmas’s away from NZ (b4kids though) and it does take a greater effort to make it special.
Do your best to get to the shops and purchase a festive picnic for you all to have at hospital together – get those silly head bands with flashing lights and fairy outfits for Aria (and you Anita!) and make it your own crazy christmas in hospital – just an hour of silliness will make it a special day, plus a visit to a christmas service in the chapel?
I’m sure it is all hitting you a bit hard right now and very overwhelming – it is a huge deal that you are going through – most people only content with their oe and don’t have the stress of little ones and medical issues as well. I’m pretty sure that Aria will be transplanted so fast that Christmas won’t even be an issue for you as you will be so busy with a transformed Aria and the gratefulness and awesomeness of the whole transplant!
Take care and big hugs x x x
# 16 Dec at 3:18 pm
Ah this Christmas is one I too am not looking forward too without my mum, but work with what I am going to – enjoy the day with the family you have with you! And your hubby and kids is a pretty good group to share it with huh!!! I reckon from my travel experiences that homesickness hits worst about a week in, and with what you guys are dealing with – the separation from each other, lack of permanent accomodation, transportation, extended family, close friends etc… it just compounds those feelings. Hang in there, hold tight to each other and know so many of us are thinking of you all each and every day! xxx
# 16 Dec at 3:24 pm
I hear your heart Anita…. no words from me, just agreeing in my heart all your valid feelings…. with love and prayers from afar.
# 16 Dec at 3:30 pm
Hi there! just want to check that you are opening your emails because we are writing to you at that address. We are with you all the way. if you cant open them put something on the website to let us know. And PLEASE publish your cellphone number if you can.
# 16 Dec at 3:31 pm
Have such a heavy heart for you both! I can’t even imagine how difficult this first month is going to be….landing in a foreign place, being “homeless”, and then of course the stress of a sick child. I KNOW God is going to bless your socks off…and He’s going to show you more this year than any other you have ever experienced what CHRISTmas is really all about. I know there is a sadness in your heart, but I pray He will change that to one of excitement. Without a doubt this will be a Christmas to remember…..but we pray it will be so in more ways than one……;) God is GOOD ALL THE TIME!!!!!!
Love you guys!!!!!
# 16 Dec at 3:54 pm
I don’t know what happened to you today, but I thought I would help give you a tip. Ask the hospital if there is a Ronald McDonald House nearby, or it might be called a Target House. They house families, with sick kids, for free. Hospitals around this country usually have houses like these, to help families out when their kids are really sick. The hospitals ask people around the country to donate money of their own free will. These houses help families connect with other families, that might be going through the same thing, or kind of in the same boat. They are usually cheerful places, where you can get away from the stress, even if it’s just for a moment. I hope this helps you!
# 16 Dec at 4:43 pm
Have you investigated any Kiwi expat groups in the area? I hear what you are saying tho – I am reminded of when I was in the US for Xmas in 2001. Nothing is quite the same as a Kiwi Christmas. We are all thinking of you and you will be in our hearts every day.
Ali xoxo
# 16 Dec at 6:14 pm
Hi, Anita,
Some stray thoughts from one who doesn’t find Christmas easy, either (long story);
Please don’t feel you are being ungrateful. It’s a natural time of year to long for home, and with everything else you are dealing with, no wonder you get a bit down at times. But think on this;
One day, you will all be home. I’ll bet Aria will be thrilled to be eating her first-ever Christmas meal (a New Zealand Christmas meal, at that). That day, you’ll stoke up the barbie, put on your jandals, and sit under a pohutukawa tree with your mates and rellies, and all this bad time will be just a memory. I’m sure of it.
As the Bible says;
whatever is true,
whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable
– if anything is excellent or praiseworthy –
think about these things.
Phil 4:8.
(Also, I read Lori’s comment about God changing your sadness to excitement, and it reminded me of the verse about Him giving beauty for ashes, and the oil of joy for the spirit of mourning – forgive me if this is inaccurate or inappropriate under the circumstances, I’m not as sure of my Bible as I would like to be.
This bad time won’t last forever.
Hope this helps. xxx
# 16 Dec at 6:48 pm
We miss you all heaps! I keep finding little reminders of Aria and Ash here, Paintings etc and of course when we play the lunchbox game 🙁 We will totally be thinking of and saying a prayer for you on Christmas Day…and hoping the LORD Blesses you with the best gifts ever xxx
# 16 Dec at 6:50 pm
Please keep looking to God who loves you all. Think how Mary must have felt traveling to Bethlehem with Joseph. She was not only away from her family but also about to give birth.But she trusted God and was happy to go where-ever He led.I am still praying for you all and wish you a Blessed Christmas and New Year.
# 16 Dec at 7:16 pm
Man, I don’t know what to say. I know how hard it is to travel across the world and be so far away from family and friends and the feeling of being stuck somewhere and not able to get out. But I can’t imagine how very much harder it must be to do that AND be stuck in hospital and not getting any time to yourselves. Praying for you guys at this difficult time. And continuing to pray that Aria will get the transplant in God’s PERFECT timing. He knows your limits and He will sustain you through this and be your rock and refuge.
p.s. I second Samantha’s idea of a dress up, picnic Christmas 😉 Gotta have SOME fun eh?
xx
# 16 Dec at 7:57 pm
Lots of us are with you in spirit! But I know how different that is to being with the people you love – even just with the people you are familiar with, the things you are familiar with, your own space. Those things are hard without it being nearly Christmas, and without facing what you guys are facing. I once had someone say being away from home, in a country that is similar/familiar in many ways (in terms of language, some of the culture) and yet different in SO many others, is like being in the Twilight Zone. It’s so true. Lots of virtual hugs!
# 16 Dec at 10:19 pm
if its any consolation I’ll be indoors doing my dissertation throughout christmas for the due date January 16. I cant handle it hence why I’m keeping up the socialising on FB and here hehe. We sang a gift of sacrifice on Sunday “Angels sing the story, of a miracle of love-A gift from God almighty, Delivered from above..”-hard out reminded me of Ham and you guys…so emotional had to suck it in real hard, Love you guys heaps. Anita, make sure you play Mariah’s christmas album-cos we all know that album rocks..
# 17 Dec at 11:15 am
Once again I think everyone has said it.
One thought comes to mind, that you are nearer to the sort of Christmas, the birth of Jesus in a stable, than most of us will ever be, you are experiencing reality. Think on this.
At least it is not a stable.
Your family unit is complete, and you are together, praise God.
Christmas is where you are.
Lots of thoughts going round my head, so easy to be upbeat when its not happening to oneself.
Once again I am encouraged by all these folks urging you on. Their faith uplifts me.
With love ……. God bless you as only He can.
Eve (England)
# 17 Dec at 2:09 pm
We know it is absolutely of no help to your situation becuase we cannot possibly start to imagine how difficult it is for you guys. We also understand without a doubt why you are feeling this way and don’t blame you at all for it. We sincerly feel for you and will definitely be with you in spirit during this difficult time.
Chin up and remember the end result will be a happy and healthy Aria.
Our love as always
oxox
# 17 Dec at 9:56 pm
I feel for u and your family ,I am a kiwi living in Australia my parents live in Howick, Auckland and me and my family live in Perth,Australia my daughter was born with Gastrochesis 16 years ago and she lost all but 32cm of intestines she is doing great now but she spent her first 14 months of life in hospital which meant we spent 2 christmas in hospital with her I can really smpathyse with you.Stay strong and I will be thinking of you over this festive season Meganxxxxxxxxxxxx