Coming down…
Strength from God is something I struggle to fully articulate.  This mornings post was straight to the point I guess.
This morning I was calm and fine. Â They talked about intubating Aria this afternoon. Â I said ‘ok- whatever needs to be done’ I watched my daughter struggle with her little chest heaving up and down. Â I was ok. Â Not emotional, not upset just ok. Â I was able to make conversation, understand what was being said and talk thru all the options and what was ahead for Aria. Â I was able to not call Hamish and let him rest. Â I did that not really know why or how.
Now I sit tearful and sad, the reality of what we almost faced today reminds me of those months were did actually face Aria being intubated for so many weeks. Â I actually went thru to look at pictures. Â Our March file is strangely light, there were very few photos taken that month. Â Knowing at the time we didn’t want to remember it.
This morning there was strength and this evening there is pain. Â That’s ok. There are seasons, sometimes in the same day.
How do you feel broken and rebuilt at the same time? Â This year broke my heart, I feel shattered. Â Yet I feel rebuilt, taken down to the foundation of who I am in Christ and restored, better than before. Â Better from knowing God.
I realise I might of shot myself in the foot in my previous post. Â The emails and words and posts we have received containing bible verses are the most treasured, it’s those verses that get my thru the day when there are no words. Â I guess of should of said ‘christain cliches’ Â But it was an honest reflections of my own personal journey, nothing else.
Aria is doing better this afternoon, much better and we have been able to wean her O2 and she even did a great PT session. Â How great is our God? Â He takes a little girl who looks like she needs to be intubated to a little girl walking and doing exercises all in the same day. Â A little girl close to death for over 6 months to one restored and rebuilt.
Lovely support today from our team.  This weeks surgeon makes me nervous but he sat on one of Aria’s little chairs and talked with me.  It was kinda funny, this big shot surgeon on a little wooden seat made for a 2 year old!  The transplant co-or talking with me about cancelling our Make A Wish next to me with her arm around me.  The Intensive Care doc sympathizing and expressing his care and concern for Aria.
Asher is currently laughing at whatever Wii fit game he is playing, better go put the darling to bed.
You guys are great. Â Thanks for sticking with us! Â She’s worth it!
10 Responses to “Coming down…”
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# 5 Nov at 8:52 pm
Aria is definitely worth it, and so are you! Aria is God’s child, and so are you! You are precious to Him, just like Aria is! He knows that dealing with all that Aria has been through is difficult, but I can see His work in your life, as well as Aria’s life. Your faith is inspiring! We (all your friends) are here for you! God Bless!
# 5 Nov at 8:58 pm
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding Proverbs:3 v5
# 5 Nov at 9:04 pm
Praise God for no intubation! Praying for healing for your Aria and for yourselves. In Christ is our strength. Judy.
# 5 Nov at 9:57 pm
We sat and read your previous post earlier today and were at a loss for words, so did not comment. Tonight we are reading again and are amazed at God’s working in Aria’s life; in your lives, and again words seem so futile. Perhaps God’s words are the best and I am sure you are familiar with these verses…but they come to my mind: Isaiah 41:10 ” So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strenghten you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” May God bless you with rest and comfort.
Love you lots!
# 6 Nov at 4:28 am
I read your posts every day, although I have never commented before. I am the grandmother of 3 healthy little girls, here in NZ. Every day I send out my best wishes for the health and happiness of your beautiful, brave Aria.
# 6 Nov at 8:07 am
A verse I have clung to for many years is Isaiah 45:2, I will go before you and make the crooked places straight. That is the KJV version which I memorized many years ago. The NIV says I will go before you and will level the mountains. In either translation know that God is not only WITH you, He is going BEFORE you. You and Aria are continually in our thoughts and prayers.
# 6 Nov at 1:16 pm
I understand your feelings.For years I worried and frettied over each problem until one day I realized I had no control when my son was critical and I could do nothing.I just said Lord he is yours please take care of him.A wave of relief came over me that day and a peace I cannot understand.To this day I still feel the same.I believe Aria belongs to God and he is going to take care of her.He will never leave or forsake any of you. Your faith is so strong.
We will just keep praying for him to give you answers and peace.The pics of Aria and Asher are so precious. Thank you for sharing with us.
# 6 Nov at 8:56 pm
Our God is an awesome God who spake the heavens, earth and all creation into being. Rest in the comfort of His Word “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10. Praying for you all.
# 15 Dec at 1:41 am
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