OR
Aria’s in the OR as I write this. Â I am at home. Â Hamish is floating around the hospital somewhere. Â Asher is at preschool.
Aria’s having a host of tests involving three different teams so we are hoping everything goes smoothly and everyone gets their jobs done right. Â They added an intestinal biopsy to the list too because she recently started dumping huge amounts again. Â We have been running her immune suppression drug at low levels, which is risky, in hope that it would help her kick the norwalk virus.
Tomorrow she will start the drug trial and hopefully we will get answers from the tests today.
Truthfully I can’t see how we can walk away from this without the PTLD/ post transplant cancer diagnosis. Â Everyone I talked to over the weekend is fairly certain it is. Â Truthfully I don’t know how to pray either. Â Do I pray for no PTLD, that seems obvious. Â Do I pray for our hearts to be prepared? Â Do I tell God the truth about how I feel and seem like I am doubting a possible miracle? Â My friend Lindsey visited yesterday and said ‘don’t worry we will pray for you’ Â Great answer, God knows the cries of our heart, sometimes there are no words.
Hamish and I have gone back to 24 hour rotating shifts.  It’s a little brutal but for the best.  I was finding the days so draining and emotional.  Never a moments peace, constant demands.  I had two friends visit yesterday, Lindsey and Erika (thank you ladies for the treats and goodies!) and there were constant interruptions.  I just wanted to scream ‘please let me have a moments peace to talk to my friends- I need this!’  Put that together with broken sleep and it is a recipe for mental disaster.
Anyway, enough complaining! Â Please pray for us. Â The person coming off the 24 shift has to parent Asher the next day having had a crappy night sleep. Â It could be very easy to be take our tiredness out on him with shortness or permissiveness. Â Which he doesn’t deserve. Please pray for our parenting of both kids. Â Ultimately we just want them to grow up and love Jesus and we know need to guide them with our actions and words.
Aria is doing pretty good. Â Her bloods tanked again overnight and she back to being neutropenic meaning high risk for infection. Â Please pray for her protection. Â She is pretty happy actually, which is good. Â Grumpy when she wakes up but gets into things slowly. Â And she is sleeping better too.
Anyway I am planning a nap, shower and exercise this arvo 🙂 Â Better get to it!
21 Responses to “OR”
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# 4 Apr at 12:43 pm
I hear your heart Anita and sometimes we have to listen to it, and not to our head. Whatever the outcome you still have a bright little button in Aria who must inspire you in every way. You both need time out for yourselves and of course Asher musn’t suffer either. Such a hard time for you all so as I can’t give you a warm fuzzy hug in person, take one from me to you via cyber space.
# 4 Apr at 2:27 pm
The beauty of God is that we do not need to decide what we tell God, HE KNOWS.
God knows your deepest and darkest thoughts Anita, I find this the most comforting thing in the whole world. I CANNOT HIDE ANYTHING FROM GOD, NEITHER CAN YOU. He knows exactly how we feel and still loves us ……. WHAT A GOD.
I lift you all in prayer ….. Hamish, yourself, Aria and Asher.
You may never know what a Christian, uplifting inspiration you are to all of us out here who follow your every piece of writing about your journey with Aria.
May you all continually know His peace and comfort.
With love ……. God bless you all.
Eve
# 4 Apr at 2:46 pm
Hi Anita, from here we can only imagine the challenges you all go through on a daily basis and it really puts the trivial things happening in our lives into perspective. I admire your family’s positive attitude and continual courage. Take strength from all of us who log in on a regular basis, hoping each time for some more cute stories or positive steps forward but also standing beside you when things are not so great. Sending love and strength to all of you xx
# 4 Apr at 3:30 pm
H guys- you continue to do an amazing job- and to faithfully lean on our amazing GOD. Thank God that we can be honest with Him- by all means let Him know how you feel- He can take it. I find it very comforting when I am hurting for my kids- to realise that He hurts for His kids too- so He totally understands!!
# 4 Apr at 3:37 pm
Hi Anita, I have written to you before and just wanted to let you know that my thoughts, love and prayers are with you. I know how tough it is what you are all going thru. You asked should I pray to prepare, Anita you have hope and you have so much love for Aria that is all you need, your love is so strong and you will get thru although it doesn’t always feel that way. I had a little girl that was neutropenic to and had many of the treatments wee Aria has had and is having. Just find strength knowing you are a fantastic Mum, and family and love is what will get you there. Take care we all think of you and Aria everyday.
# 4 Apr at 3:44 pm
Continue to trust in the Lord for he is good, He know all the needs and will supply them.You have
a powerful base praying for all of you all.
# 4 Apr at 3:57 pm
Hi Anita, thanks for your honest blog- you bring us closer to your situation and better understanding. Vigilant prayers for you and Ham and the kids each moment of these coming days. Gods purposes can be unfathomable but at times quite crystal clear. We pray for unfading clarity of His purpose and of total unfading dependence on His grace. You guys are doing it pretty hard yakka but amazingly well.Love you guys and you are guys are never too far from our thoughts xoxo
# 4 Apr at 5:22 pm
Praying for you all to see God’s sovereign hand move in every aspect of Aria’s life. All your friends and family will lift you up as in Hebrews 12:12 “Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees …”
# 4 Apr at 5:56 pm
Where do we go but to the Lord! He isn’t asleep or too busy, and though we doubt it at times … He cares!
# 4 Apr at 6:34 pm
I’m so sorry you are going through so much pain right now. Tiredness and stress and worry are so much to cope with and I know you have two sides of the coin with one sick wee girl in hospital and one happy wee boy bouncing on the outside. Both need you and you need them and its all such a juggle. Be kind to yourself, you and Hamish are doing the very best you can, doubts and all, none of us are perfect beings. Just take a moment every now and then to just breathe and know you are beautiful just the way you are and that this too will pass. Love you lots, xxx
# 4 Apr at 8:26 pm
Oh Anita, I can’t even begin to know how you’re feeling. ometimes words aren’t enough when praying, but God knows your heart. He knows you’re hurting, and He’s right there with you! Endless prayers are coming your way, from me & your other friends, & family! May God keep you strong, and give you peace through all of this! God Bless!
# 4 Apr at 11:14 pm
Hi MacDonald family in Omaha, Hamish, Anita, Ashe and Princess Aria. We love you and pray with you with groans that only God understands Romans 8. Anyways, we know that our Advocate lives Lord Jesus prays for us that our faith may not fail.
# 5 Apr at 1:52 am
Dear MacDonald family – so open, so willing to share, so honest – we follow your blog and my girls always ask me how Aria is doing – we pray for you, as you share needs, and good times, and offer up quite a public life – there is no ‘pc’ with God – I like the comments someone else said – God already knows your heart, your words – and it is no surprise to him when you’ve had enough – when you know there is only one set of footprints in the sand as He carries you a little further along the journey –
we are with you in heart, thought and prayer – hang in Anita and Hamish …..
# 5 Apr at 2:26 am
Make time for yourselves. Exercise is great…………take good care. Go well
# 5 Apr at 2:27 am
Sorry to hear you’re all going through a tough time 🙁 Know that God is always with you and He knows that you’re drained and tired and that you’ve had enough – He will give you the strength to keep going. We pray that the outcome of Aria’s OR trip are not too hectic and that the prognosis is manageable. Father God, please place your loving arms of love, comfort, peace and strength around precious Aria and her family during this very trying time. Amen. God bless you, MacDonald family x
# 5 Apr at 2:48 am
You have the strength to share what’s in your heart and your thoughts. Be strong and I pray you find the strength to build up for the journey you must travel now. MacDonalds and the Medical teams you are working with are all in my prayers and thoughts for strength, wisdom and healing to prevail. Xxxx
# 5 Apr at 3:02 am
you guys are in our prayers. Please God heal Aria! You are an awesome God, let your healing hand be on her.
# 5 Apr at 3:49 am
Ditto what Susan said (I’m in chch for a few days helping out). I very much feel that God has always granted you guys just enough to keep going one more step and we will pray for one step more.
# 5 Apr at 2:10 pm
I agree. One step more. One step at a time. Sending you our love and prayers Anita. And special prayers for Asher at this tiring time. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
# 5 Apr at 2:12 pm
Just received this scripture the minute after I posted to you:
As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered.
You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy. (NVI)
James 5:11
# 5 Apr at 2:27 pm
just saw the news
what a blow
praying for you all
HUGS