Recovery Time - Aria MacDonald

Recovery Time

I am wondering if this is going to come off as a ‘poor me’ post.   Or maybe like an invitation to my Pity Party with me being the guest of honour.

Two weeks on and Aria is doing well.  She has a bit of a cold right now but other than that she is doing pretty good.  Two weeks on and I feel like we just left hospital yesterday.  I still haven’t recovered emotionally and mentally from what was a fairly stressful admission.  Two weeks is a long time to be in hospital and Aria was really sick and we walked away with more questions than answers.

Basic household tasks seem huge.  I was fine folding washing and giving Aria a bath, now it seems like a mission.  Socialising is hard.  It seems like a huge effort to make conversation.  So of course this means I am lazy right?  And selfish for not enquiring of others?  Or maybe it is ok to just withdraw and heal for a bit? 

I don’t know, it is all confusing and hard.  I can’t decide really if I am being self indulgent or self perserving.  I can’t decide to ask for help or pretend like all is well. 

Anyway thanks for checking in on our journey.  This post is an insight into the thoughts of a parent with a chronically ill child.  I wish it was a bit more cheerful.

9 Responses to “Recovery Time”

  1. Chris says:

    I’m not sure what to say as I have no personal experience of having a chronically ill child, but I can imagine that you are under constant stress and pressure – even more so when you have a crisis such as Aria’s hospital admission a couple of weeks ago. Are you able to ask for some supports to be put in place for yourself?

  2. Anna Smart says:

    You are a wonderful, dedicated, loyal, loving Mum and a strong and very brave woman. Don’t be too hard on yourself eh.

    xxx

  3. jen says:

    your courageous just by sharing your life with us

    theres nothing wrong with asking for help and if I lived closer Id want to

    praying for you

    HUGS

  4. Maggie says:

    Anita, hugs to you. The role you find yourself in is definitely a rollercoaster ride. It’s ok to be feeling down for awhile. It’s ok to feel like you need to withdraw for a time and ‘regroup’, and it’s ok to ask for help. The emotional toll is huge and constant, especially after an admission like the last one. Unfortunately, there is no easy road for you or your family, so make sure you do what you need to, to take care of yourself and your family.
    Love and hugs
    Marguerite
    xoxoxo

  5. Dawn says:

    Anita, I don’t think you come accross as poor me, you come across as an amazingly devoted and inspirational mother whom takes life in their stride. And This needing time to regroup and have a mental health break i think is all part of being human, being a mother, and dealing with all you do. don’t be hard on yourself and once again thank you again for giving us the privledge of a glimpse into your life, and letting us in some small way be a apart of all your high’s and lo’s and everything inbetween.

    i hope you get to you re group and recharge the batteries so to speak and you get a few good months at home with no hospital admissions!!

    As always all our love and prayers from here in Australia,

  6. Kit Deverell says:

    My kids may not have been sick but my first two are special needs which adds a fair bit of extra stress to the general parenting issues. So I speak from experiance when I say that if you feel the need ASK. FOR. HELP. Absolutely. Every time. You are not selfish. You are not weak. You are human and can only do and handle so much. Your chlidren need you to be the best Mum you can be and that means taking care fo YOU too. Never pretend for others sake. Most people (as evidenced by other comments) will totally understand and be only to happy to step in. If you need anything count me in.

    -Kit-

  7. Steph says:

    Hi Anita,
    I think you are a totally amazing human being! It is not self indulgent to require a period of self-healing and I solemnly believe that you need to give yourself this time to ‘regroup’. The emotions you have been feeling over the past few weeks have probably been quite extreme, so it is natural that when returning to ‘normality’ that things feel a little strange. Don’t feel guilty for feeling this way. Keep praying, hang on to Hamish and hang in there! Love and hugs, Steph xxxx

  8. Jodee & Matisse says:

    Okay here is the voice of reason or the voice of someone who knows first hand how you feel. I feel exactly the same way after a hospital stay. I feel you have your time in hospital and it takes double that to get back into life at home. You are right too with these complex kids you don’t come home with answers -always more questions and it is depressing. And I don’t have any answers for you either because I feel the exact same way, I can only tell you that you will get over this hump and you will get back into the swing of things…that is until the next hospital visit. If it makes you feel any better I have a suit case in my room which I have not unpacked from our make a wish disney trip from a year ago!!! Am I lazy NO WAY! And neither are you – you are incredible and no doubt incredibly exhausted.
    If anyone is reading this and wants to help Anita please go and do her washing for her -its the practicle help that she needs as much as your prayers. Anita -accept the help without guilt!
    Jodee

  9. Lisa Robertson says:

    Self preserving i say!! We all know that you put 100% into your children, and Aria being unwell must really take its toll….. Sometimes we need someone to look after us as well. I know we have only met once very briefly, but if i can ever help in anyway please dont hesitate to give me a shout!! You are doing just amazing by your family and you prioritise well….family first, washing and socialising another day!!! You are allowed time to recover too. x

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“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”- Jeremiah 29:11